LPT: when you apologize for saying or doing something you shouldn't have to a loved one, don't qualify your apology by adding a justification for your words or actions.

Adding an explanation or reason, while it might make you feel better, can sometimes seem like an excuse to the other person, and the apology can ring hollow to them.

Example: I heard a segment on NPR yesterday where an adult woman could not bring herself to forgive her adoptive family for withholding information about her birth. She said she understood, but couldn't forgive them because they kept saying they thought they were doing the right thing. She wanted only to hear that they were sorry without them giving an excuse or justification.

I tried this today with someone and to my surprise it made a major difference.

TLDR: when it is very important, just apologize without trying to explain why it seemed ok